Seven Common Excuses for Job Termination: TRANSLATED

Face it. No one likes to be terminated from a job. Even a BAD job. But to add insult to injury, the firing manager frequently isn't even honest about why you are being fired. Below are seven common reasons given for termination, translated. Just so you know what REALLY happened.


1)    "You are not a good fit with the Company"

TRANSLATION: "You are not the right sex, race, creed, religion or sexual orientation to fit in around here!"


2) "Your work performance is substandard."

TRANSLATION:  "Actually, my work is substandard but I'm blaming you!"


 3)   "Your work attendance is problematic."

TRANSLATION:  "Even though poor planning on my part forces you to work long hours, having walking pneumonia is no excuse for missing work."

4) "Your working relationships with your co-workers is strained."

TRANSLATION: "In spite of the overt bullying by your co-workers, you persist in not just quitting."


5) " We are downsizing the department."

TRANSLATION:  "We are scared shitless that you'll sue us for screwing you over like this."


6) " Your skill-set is not sufficient for this job."

TRANSLATION: "You just keep on refusing to have sex with me!"

7) "You do not respond well to correction."

TRANSLATION: "After months of riding your ass like an army mule, we're afraid a crazy son-of-a-bitch like you might come to work packing heat!"