Overheard In Hell -- A sample platter of enternal damnation

"Tastes great!" "Less filling!" (Jeffrey Dahmer and Idi Amin arguing about ethnic cusine).

"Sex with corpses!? Now that's just SICK!" (Caligula discussing Jeffrey Dahmer with Jack the Ripper).

"Now let me get this straight...you thought that screaming was FUNNY?" (Andrew Dice Clay talking to Sam Kinesand)

"I KNOW you didn't do it, asshole...you're in Hell because you're STUPID!" (G. Gordon Liddy berating Lee Harvey Oswald on his status as patsy).

"Bad news. God called and he wants his talent back!"
(Tokyo Rose greeting Rush Limbaugh)

"Auntie 'Em, Auntie 'Em...there's no place like home...there's no place like home!" (Crackhead from Miami).

"I know, I KNOW attacking Russia in the winter was a stupid idea."
(Adolf Hitler and Napoleon hashing out strategies).

"I know, I KNOW expecting to be in and out of Iraq in a year was a stupid idea."
(Donald Rumsfeld and Robert Mcnamara killing time)

"No, that's NOT a pistol in my pocket, but I AM happy to see you."
(Jim Baker greeting Jessica Hahn).

"Say...isn't that Salmon Rushdie?"
(Saddam Hussein to Ayatollah Khommeni).

"Shit..."
(Salmon Rushdie)

"Hey, get those colored folks on THEIR side of Hell!" (David Duke)

"....opps, I guess the red wire was the wrong one..." (IRA bomber).

"Hey, somebody turn on the air conditioning and where're my goddamned virgins?" (Al-Qaeda Suicide Bomber)

"Yoo Hoo, Mr. Martyr!"
(Anna Nichole Smith and Rosanne Barr)

"...And then I said, 'Oh, yeah? You and what army?'" (Noreiga explaining rock and roll to Saddam Hussein).

"No holiday? I lose one stinking battle and they screw me out of a holiday?" (General George Custer questioning Col. Oliver North about 21st century holidays).

"Actually, you're not supposed to be here at all. But seeing how committed you were to going along with the rest of the Administration while you were alive...."

(Minor demon explaining Colin Powell's presence in Hell)

"And I thought I put a damper on theater attendance." (John Wilkes Booth to several Chechen terrorists who enjoy the theater)

"Cruel, yes, but you can't say he didn't have it coming."
(Howard Stern commenting on Bill O'Reilly being forced to interview Robin Williams for an eternity.

"As a matter of fact, Ms. Hemsley, there IS no thermostat in my pocket....but I AM glad to see you." (Satan fighting for control of Hell with Leona Hemsley).

"Who picked out this fucking color-scheme?" (Martha Stewart fighting with Satan over interior design)

"Well, on the positive side, I actually got to take it with me."
(Kenneth Lay upon discovering all the money he ever stole shoved up his ass for eternity)