Testimony by Dr. Condoleezza Rice before the 9-11 commission Hearings: TRANSLATED.

RICE: "There was no silver bullet that could have prevented [the Sept. 11, 2001 terror strikes]."

TRANSLATION: “My background is in vampire studies, consequently my arsenal of wooden stakes was useless against the emerging werewolf threat”.

RICE: "He made clear to me that he did not want to respond to al-Qaeda one attack at a time. He told me he was 'tired of swatting flies'."

TRANSLATION: “The President sought to create a big pile of crap in Iraq to draw all the flies there.”

RICE: "I'm now convinced that while nothing in this strategy would have done anything about 9-11, if we had in fact moved on the things that were in the original memos that we got from our counterterrorism people, we might have even gone off course."

TRANSLATION: “The strategy was doomed from the start. But, even if it wasn' t we'd probably screw it up anyway, right? “

RICE: "It did not warn of attacks inside the United States. It was historical information based on old reporting."

TRANSLATION: "The report consisted of the same, vague hearsay and rhetoric that all of our intelligence has historically contained. Therefore, we just ignored it like we always do."

RICE: "The terrorists were at war with us, but we were not yet at war with them. For more than 20 years, the terrorist threat gathered, and America's response across several administrations of both parties was insufficient."

TRANSLATION: "We thought if we just didn't give them the attention they were seeking, they'd just go away. Basically, we all suck at this. Get off my back!"

RICE: "Tragically, for all the language of war spoken before September 11, this country simply was not on a war footing."

TRANSLATION: "We were still on the good foot celebrating the election, so we never saw it coming."

RICE: "As an officer of government on duty that day, I will never forget the sorrow and the anger I felt."

TRANSLATION: “It’s all in my new book, ‘The Anger and the Sorrow of Condi Rice.”

RICE: "Troubling, yes. But they don't tell us when, they don't tell us where, they don't tell us who and they don't tell us how."

TRANSLATION: “Basically, we didn't know jack”.

RICE: "America's Al Qaeda policy wasn't working because our Afghanistan policy wasn't working, and our Afghanistan policy wasn't working because our Pakistan policy wasn't working."

TRANSLATION: “Our policy had more holes in it than Windows XP on a wireless network”.

RICE: "I really don't remember, Commissioner, whether I discussed this with the President."

TRANSLATION: “I tuned out about 5 minutes into his anger fueled, spittle slinging tirade.”

RICE: "May I address the question, sir?"

TRANSLATION: “Do you really want me to answer this loaded, open-ended question, or is the sound of your own jaw creaking more appealing?”

RICE: "We did have a structural problem, and structural problems take some time to address."

TRANSLATION: “If our intelligence information dissemination protocol were a house, it would have been condemned in the 1980's.”

RICE: "First of all, it was coming from the top because the President was meeting with his director of central intelligence. And one of the changes that this President made was to meet face to face with his director of central intelligence almost every day."

TRANSLATION: “The President enjoyed an afternoon nap everyday from 1:00-2:00 p.m.”

RICE: "We're safer, but we're not safe."

TRANSLATION: “So, you want to live forever or what?”

RICE: "[You] have to depend on intelligence agencies to tell you what is relevant." TRANSLATION: “It's Tenet's fault.”

RICE: "I would like to finish my point."

TRANSLATION: “Just shut-the-hell-up!

“RICE: "And under President Bush's leadership, we will remain at war until the terrorist threat to our Nation is ended."

TRANSLATION: “Get used to it.”