Angry Funnyman Bill Cosby Translated...Properly

Funny man Bill Cosby's remarks at an NAACP dinner in Washington didn' t get nearly as many laughs as his "Why is There Air?" LP in the 60's. What we have here is a failure to communicate. So a translation of the Washington Post transcript of his remarks is provided for the urbanites among us without a doctorate in education. Thanks, Snoop Dogg.

COSBY: "I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol? And where is the father?"

TRANSLATION: It's what went down at the flippity floppity floop that made him such a hack job.

COSBY: "People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? ...People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something, or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? "

TRANSLATION: "These kids today seem happy-bo-bappy to be the mayor of Clowntown."

COSBY: "People used to be ashamed... [Today] a woman has eight children with eight different `husbands,' or men or whatever you call them now."

TRANSLATION: Word up. Rousting slags is shibby with the Springer crew but you ain't gonna get on Oprah like that.

COSBY: "We have millionaire football players who can't read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs."

TRANSLATION: "But that little fact hasn't cut into their bulging bling-bling budget one bit."

COSBY: "The incarcerated? These are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake and then we run out and we are outraged, saying, `The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"

TRANSLATION: Of course, comparing larceny to boosting a pound cake is a rabidiculous milk and potatoes example. But you catch my drift, Dawg?

COSBY: "People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.... The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting."

TRANSLATION: "Yo, I ain't trying to give you a quick run for the money, but you're wack if you think we took mace in the face to get some juice just so a few jabbas could skate. Peace out."